hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
