I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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