i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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