Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
