i think my mom watched the whole time
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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