The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
