"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
