sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
