me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
