just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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