please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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