Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
