True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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