I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
