I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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