His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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