I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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