dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Your cock deserves a montage
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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