Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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