He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
