dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
false alarm. still invincible.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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