i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
