I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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