apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I need a beard to bite.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize