Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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