Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
