I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
