I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
