the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
