Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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