the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
