OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
