the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
