I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize