Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
