Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We are two peas in an std pod
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
