we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
