but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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