that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
