If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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