at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
