Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I think your dad took our porno
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
