I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
