Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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