it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
