Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
how drunk are you?
Several
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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