let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize