god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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