we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
