Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
