Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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