I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
