And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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