how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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