Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
