I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
