Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
