but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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