So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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