his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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