R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
