I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize