no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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