good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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