after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
