look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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