I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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