when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Someone came in the potted fern
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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