Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
